The Trial That Might Change Everything

I’ve started to share parts of my story —about the chronic illnesses I live with, the ups and downs, the hard days and the harder ones. But there’s one part of my health I’ve kept more hidden: my struggles with my stomach, allergies and possible Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS).

For a long time, I’ve masked my symptoms. I’ve minimized my pain. I’ve smiled through flare ups and played down the times my body felt like it was at war with itself. It’s easier to pretend sometimes. Easier than explaining why just one bite of food might leave me in pain for days, or could trigger a series of reactions I can’t control.

But the truth is, I’ve been sick. I am sick. And this has been a heavy, lonely part of my journey.

Today, I’m starting something new: a two-week meal plan trial. It’s designed to work with my body, not against it—to quiet the chaos, to reduce my reactions, and maybe, just maybe, to help me finally feel better. This isn’t the first time I have tried an elimination diet but this is definitely the most unique (more on this to come).

It’s going to be hard. Restrictive. Physically and emotionally exhausting. But I’m willing to try, because I’m tired of surviving when I want to be living. I want answers. I want to understand why I’ve felt like this for so long. And I want to give myself the chance to heal, even if it means making sacrifices.

What’s strange is how hopeful I feel. This trial might give me clarity on symptoms I’ve had for years. It might explain things I never thought would make sense. And if it helps—even just a little—it could change everything.

But that’s also terrifying. Because what if it does change everything?

What if the foods I love are part of the problem? What if I have to say goodbye to things I’ve always leaned on for comfort? What if I start to feel better… and realize just how unwell I’ve been all this time?

There’s grief in this, too.

Still, I’m choosing hope. I’m choosing to believe that my body deserves gentleness. That listening to my symptoms and what my body needs is so important. That acknowledging my pain doesn’t mean I’m weak —it means I’m finally giving myself grace.

So here’s to the next two weeks. To trusting my body. To being brave enough to try. And to hopefully get some answers after all of these years.