Emotions are weird...

After yesterday’s follow up appointment I naturally want to brush it off, say it doesn’t bother me, that it’s all good, throw in some humour and sarcasm to mask my actual feelings.

Feelings for me are challenging. Growing up and into my adult years, I never allowed myself to feel anything besides positive feelings and anger. So everything that falls in between, I don’t fully understand yet and I don’t allow myself to go down those roads. It is like a natural block anytime a feeling comes up that falls outside of my comfort zone and I jump right to humour and sarcasm to mask it and move on.

I have cried once in my adult life… I used to be so proud of that fact like it showed strength, but thankfully therapy has turned the lights on in this area of my life. I now understand the importance of allowing yourself to freely feel your emotions. That crying isn’t weak and that I was wrong all along it’s quite the opposite. I still can’t do it but it’s a work in progress.

So after yesterday’s appointment, I’m going to allow myself to feel… I’m going to try to be gentle with myself and just allow whatever comes to come without pushing it away. I am extremely thankful to be sitting here waiting to go into this week’s therapy session.

Thank you for being here 💕